hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Recent UDISE+ and NSO data reveal a 37-lakh enrollment decline in 2023-24 due to poverty, child labour, marriages, gender disparities, health issues, and poor education quality. Urgent measures are ne
apicture M L Satyan
13 Jan 2025
Replacing the National Talent Search Examination with a self-glorification opportunity is a sin that deprives students of opportunities. This shift is about prioritising propaganda and one person over
apicture Joseph Maliakan
13 Jan 2025
True greatness is born of sacrifice—whether through Christ's crucifixion, Gandhi's simplicity, Mandela's forgiveness, or Navalny's unyielding defiance. Their enduring legacies inspire us to confront o
apicture A. J. Philip
13 Jan 2025
when we were assessing the performance of a particular student, he quite spontaneously said, "This person cannot become tensed; without tension, what creativity?" It was then I understood what tension
apicture Gnana Patrick
13 Jan 2025
The next generation must be prepared to surmount the arising challenges in light of increasing intolerance and global and domestic conflict. Since the government is the source of corruption, individua
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
13 Jan 2025
Digital Arrest Scams: A Growing Menace in India that Demands Immediate Attention
apicture Sai Anand
13 Jan 2025
The Vedas and Upanishads embody a profound, universal philosophy celebrating inquiry, truth, and unity. Hindutva, by contrast, distorts this legacy into a rigid, exclusionary ideology, sabotaging the
apicture G Ramachandram
13 Jan 2025
India's water crisis deepens: untreated waste, industrial effluents, and plastic pollution devastate rivers, oceans, and lives. With 70% of surface water unfit for use, urgent waste management, water
apicture Janina Gomes
13 Jan 2025
We all want to emulate successful people, but if you need to enjoy life, which also means your wife, then "Chill" is a good word to remember…!
apicture Robert Clements
13 Jan 2025
History has given us different types of leaders. Transformative leaders like Gandhi and Mandela facilitated positive societal change, while destructive leaders like Hitler caused immense harm. Today's
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
06 Jan 2025