hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements New Taxes and Tax Savings..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Jun 2021

With the state of the economy plummeting, and money needed to handle the running of the country, rumour has it that everything under the sun would be taxed, but I didn’t know how serious it was till I went for my daily jog this morning:
There was a stranger standing inside the park and watching all the people as they walked or jogged by. He watched me disinterestedly as I finished my first round, looked a little more keenly when I did my second and then put a tick on a piece of paper when I finished my third.
“Who is that?” I asked the watchman as I started my fourth round.
“He is the taxman sir!”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Collecting taxes!” said the watchman obviously wondering how I couldn’t figure out such simplicities.
“Stop!” said the taxman stepping forward as I was about to start my fifth.
“Why?” I asked slowing down but not stopping.
“You have to pay your advance tax!”
“Advance tax?” I asked surprised.
“Yes before you advance onto your fifth round you will have to pay taxes for the next five rounds!”
“How much?” I asked as a policeman who I had not noticed earlier came and stood next to the taxman.
“How many rounds do you normally do?”
”Twelve!” I said.
“Sixty-five rupees!”
“Why sixty-five, why not sixty?” I asked surprised.
“A new cess of five rupees we have levied towards a healthier country!”
“Don’t you realise that what I am doing is healthy? Why do you want to tax me for health then?”
“Another five rupees sir!”
“For what?”
“You are using this government park for expressing your views, till now it’s been free speech, but we’ve decided to tax speech as well! We cannot allow any freebies anymore!”
“This is madness!” I shouted.
“Policeman!” said the taxman quietly and I quickly pulled out the money, but not before the taxman brought out a thick wad of forms. “Fill everything in triplicate sir, and try to finish it before I leave the park, otherwise there is a penalty for late payment!”
   Like I said, with the economy taking a nose dive, everything is going to come under the taxman’s hammer, otherwise why would the taxman have suddenly turned to me and asked, “Sir does your father run?”
“He’s too old to run!” I said.
“Sir, there’s a non-running tax which is double the running tax, it would be in your interest that your papa runs from tomorrow, and you can do some tax-saving..!”
                               

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Women's empowerment cannot coexist with political patronage that confines women to kitchens while celebrating them as voters. Anandiben Patel's remarks expose that the ruling establishment does not se
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
20 Jul 2026
Barely weeks after the BJP assumed office, West Bengal has witnessed a disturbing surge in attacks on Christians and Muslims. Majoritarian politics is fast replacing the State's long tradition of plur
apicture Fr Soroj Mullick, SDB
20 Jul 2026
The relentless assault on Rahul Gandhi has become a political industry. By echoing narratives crafted by the ruling party's propaganda machinery, influential critics have done more to weaken the democ
apicture Mathew John
20 Jul 2026
In the agricultural fields, You are the owners Of land our ancestors tilled Without ever seeing a deed.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
20 Jul 2026
Then we organise our own match, lock out the referee, remove the opposition, announce the final score and declare ourselves world champions.
apicture Robert Clements
20 Jul 2026
Courts speak through evidence, not the religion of judges or the accused. Once judicial decisions are judged by identity instead of reasoning, the blindfold of Lady Justice falls, and with it, public
apicture A. J. Philip
13 Jul 2026
Religion loses its soul when it becomes a vehicle for power and profit. The Ayodhya donation controversy exposes how faith is exploited for political capital and commercial enterprise. Democracy deman
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
13 Jul 2026
The deadliest weapon in modern India is invisible. Armed only with smartphones, artificial intelligence, and psychological manipulation, cybercriminals are stealing fortunes, destroying reputations, a
apicture Jaswant Kaur
13 Jul 2026
The One Nation, One Election Bill might promise slightly more efficiency, but it will damage the constitutional foundations of India's democracy. Administrative convenience cannot justify concentratin
apicture Joseph Maliakan
13 Jul 2026
When every constitutional safeguard appears compromised, the judiciary becomes democracy's last refuge. Though there have been some recent judicial interventions, they are only on the fringes and quic
apicture G Ramachandram
13 Jul 2026