hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements New Taxes and Tax Savings..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Jun 2021

With the state of the economy plummeting, and money needed to handle the running of the country, rumour has it that everything under the sun would be taxed, but I didn’t know how serious it was till I went for my daily jog this morning:
There was a stranger standing inside the park and watching all the people as they walked or jogged by. He watched me disinterestedly as I finished my first round, looked a little more keenly when I did my second and then put a tick on a piece of paper when I finished my third.
“Who is that?” I asked the watchman as I started my fourth round.
“He is the taxman sir!”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Collecting taxes!” said the watchman obviously wondering how I couldn’t figure out such simplicities.
“Stop!” said the taxman stepping forward as I was about to start my fifth.
“Why?” I asked slowing down but not stopping.
“You have to pay your advance tax!”
“Advance tax?” I asked surprised.
“Yes before you advance onto your fifth round you will have to pay taxes for the next five rounds!”
“How much?” I asked as a policeman who I had not noticed earlier came and stood next to the taxman.
“How many rounds do you normally do?”
”Twelve!” I said.
“Sixty-five rupees!”
“Why sixty-five, why not sixty?” I asked surprised.
“A new cess of five rupees we have levied towards a healthier country!”
“Don’t you realise that what I am doing is healthy? Why do you want to tax me for health then?”
“Another five rupees sir!”
“For what?”
“You are using this government park for expressing your views, till now it’s been free speech, but we’ve decided to tax speech as well! We cannot allow any freebies anymore!”
“This is madness!” I shouted.
“Policeman!” said the taxman quietly and I quickly pulled out the money, but not before the taxman brought out a thick wad of forms. “Fill everything in triplicate sir, and try to finish it before I leave the park, otherwise there is a penalty for late payment!”
   Like I said, with the economy taking a nose dive, everything is going to come under the taxman’s hammer, otherwise why would the taxman have suddenly turned to me and asked, “Sir does your father run?”
“He’s too old to run!” I said.
“Sir, there’s a non-running tax which is double the running tax, it would be in your interest that your papa runs from tomorrow, and you can do some tax-saving..!”
                               

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

In an era when faith is often kept carefully outside the public square, VD Satheesan, Leader of the Opposition in the Kerala Legislative Assembly, speaks of the Bible with an ease that is neither perf
apicture Dr Suresh Mathew
29 Dec 2025
For seventy years, Christmas felt benign. This year, people were wishing each other a "safe" Christmas. That single adjective reveals India's moral crisis. Mobs rule, and symbolism has replaced govern
apicture A. J. Philip
29 Dec 2025
Festivals once nurtured harmony; today, they are weaponised. Hate, boycotts, and violence have replaced pluralism, enabled by silence from power and an ideology hostile to India's constitutional promi
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
29 Dec 2025
As the new year dawns, India pauses to introspect—except its institutions. Data reveals a justice system dulled by delay, selective mercy, and unequal enforcement, where survivors wait, the powerful w
apicture Jaswant Kaur
29 Dec 2025
On December 15, 2025, in Kanker district, Chhattisgarh, a province in the central part of India, the father of Rajman Salam, an elected sarpanch (village headman), was buried according to Christian ri
apicture United Christian Forum
29 Dec 2025
Renaming the Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Act (MGNREGA) into the Viksit Bharat Guarantee for Employment and Livelihood Mission (Rural) Bill, dubbed "G RAM G" and pushed through P
apicture Oliver D'Souza
29 Dec 2025
In the land of Tagore, Vivekananda, and Gandhi—who preached universal faith and freedom—religion is now weaponised. Constitutional guarantees are undermined by vigilantes, anti-conversion laws, and si
apicture John S. Shilshi
29 Dec 2025
In the thundering storm of ignorance and fear, Rose a voice, fierce and clear-Periyar, the seer. A flame against the darkness, a sword against the lie, He challenged the shadows that veiled the sky
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
29 Dec 2025
Christmas celebrations in Arunachal grew into vibrant expressions of faith and culture. Today, they are celebrated widely across the state, but their roots trace back to that fragile, defiant begin
apicture CM Paul
29 Dec 2025
The Lord Jesus has promised that the stones will cry out. What remains to be decided—by me, by my Order, by the Church in India—is whether we will raise our voices with them, or whether our silence wi
apicture Fr. Anil Prakash D'Souza, OP
29 Dec 2025