hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements New Taxes and Tax Savings..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Jun 2021

With the state of the economy plummeting, and money needed to handle the running of the country, rumour has it that everything under the sun would be taxed, but I didn’t know how serious it was till I went for my daily jog this morning:
There was a stranger standing inside the park and watching all the people as they walked or jogged by. He watched me disinterestedly as I finished my first round, looked a little more keenly when I did my second and then put a tick on a piece of paper when I finished my third.
“Who is that?” I asked the watchman as I started my fourth round.
“He is the taxman sir!”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Collecting taxes!” said the watchman obviously wondering how I couldn’t figure out such simplicities.
“Stop!” said the taxman stepping forward as I was about to start my fifth.
“Why?” I asked slowing down but not stopping.
“You have to pay your advance tax!”
“Advance tax?” I asked surprised.
“Yes before you advance onto your fifth round you will have to pay taxes for the next five rounds!”
“How much?” I asked as a policeman who I had not noticed earlier came and stood next to the taxman.
“How many rounds do you normally do?”
”Twelve!” I said.
“Sixty-five rupees!”
“Why sixty-five, why not sixty?” I asked surprised.
“A new cess of five rupees we have levied towards a healthier country!”
“Don’t you realise that what I am doing is healthy? Why do you want to tax me for health then?”
“Another five rupees sir!”
“For what?”
“You are using this government park for expressing your views, till now it’s been free speech, but we’ve decided to tax speech as well! We cannot allow any freebies anymore!”
“This is madness!” I shouted.
“Policeman!” said the taxman quietly and I quickly pulled out the money, but not before the taxman brought out a thick wad of forms. “Fill everything in triplicate sir, and try to finish it before I leave the park, otherwise there is a penalty for late payment!”
   Like I said, with the economy taking a nose dive, everything is going to come under the taxman’s hammer, otherwise why would the taxman have suddenly turned to me and asked, “Sir does your father run?”
“He’s too old to run!” I said.
“Sir, there’s a non-running tax which is double the running tax, it would be in your interest that your papa runs from tomorrow, and you can do some tax-saving..!”
                               

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

In a speech heavy on self-glorification and light on facts, Modi reshaped history to suit himself. The real shock was Tharoor's applause. When public thinkers start echoing power instead of challengin
apicture A. J. Philip
24 Nov 2025
While oligarchs grow unimaginably rich, institutions crumble and corruption mutates into a system-wide creed. The real scandal is not just the loot—it is a society so intimidated, polarised and distra
apicture Mathew John
24 Nov 2025
The Delhi blast shows how terror adapts while the State repeats familiar missteps. Intelligence gaps, punitive demolitions, and deepening alienation raise a tricky question: is India confronting terro
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
24 Nov 2025
The verdict of the Constitution Bench of the Supreme Court in the Presidential reference case is a severe blow to the federal principles of the Indian Constitution. A constitution bench of the Supreme
apicture Joseph Maliakan
24 Nov 2025
Thou dost the air of December, O Babasaheb, Tremble with thy memory. Out of each city, each village, each slum and dumb avenue, like waves upon Chaitya Bhoomi stand millions— Their tracks are suppl
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
24 Nov 2025
Heaven begins wherever love becomes action. When we walk with the poor, listen to their cries, and share our blessings, we touch Christ Himself. Dilexi Te reminds us that compassion is not optional—it
apicture Sr. Inigo, SSAM
24 Nov 2025
India's future brightens when citizens embrace diversity, practise respectful dialogue, and act with conscience. Every small gesture of fairness and friendship strengthens the nation. True patriotism
apicture Fr Soroj Mullick, SDB
24 Nov 2025
All problems, if left unattended, either go away on their own or enlarge themselves to dangle like the sword of Damocles. So, the best way is to put our brains to proper use and find a solution.
apicture P. Raja
24 Nov 2025
Our strength has always been in those who think bravely and speak boldly. Let us not label them dangerous. Let us recognise them as the guardians of our freedom…
apicture Robert Clements
24 Nov 2025
True worship begins where suffering is seen. We are confronted by one question: can any temple, devotion, or nation claim holiness while the poor remain unheard, unseen, and unprotected?
apicture CM Paul
17 Nov 2025