hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements New Taxes and Tax Savings..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Jun 2021

With the state of the economy plummeting, and money needed to handle the running of the country, rumour has it that everything under the sun would be taxed, but I didn’t know how serious it was till I went for my daily jog this morning:
There was a stranger standing inside the park and watching all the people as they walked or jogged by. He watched me disinterestedly as I finished my first round, looked a little more keenly when I did my second and then put a tick on a piece of paper when I finished my third.
“Who is that?” I asked the watchman as I started my fourth round.
“He is the taxman sir!”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Collecting taxes!” said the watchman obviously wondering how I couldn’t figure out such simplicities.
“Stop!” said the taxman stepping forward as I was about to start my fifth.
“Why?” I asked slowing down but not stopping.
“You have to pay your advance tax!”
“Advance tax?” I asked surprised.
“Yes before you advance onto your fifth round you will have to pay taxes for the next five rounds!”
“How much?” I asked as a policeman who I had not noticed earlier came and stood next to the taxman.
“How many rounds do you normally do?”
”Twelve!” I said.
“Sixty-five rupees!”
“Why sixty-five, why not sixty?” I asked surprised.
“A new cess of five rupees we have levied towards a healthier country!”
“Don’t you realise that what I am doing is healthy? Why do you want to tax me for health then?”
“Another five rupees sir!”
“For what?”
“You are using this government park for expressing your views, till now it’s been free speech, but we’ve decided to tax speech as well! We cannot allow any freebies anymore!”
“This is madness!” I shouted.
“Policeman!” said the taxman quietly and I quickly pulled out the money, but not before the taxman brought out a thick wad of forms. “Fill everything in triplicate sir, and try to finish it before I leave the park, otherwise there is a penalty for late payment!”
   Like I said, with the economy taking a nose dive, everything is going to come under the taxman’s hammer, otherwise why would the taxman have suddenly turned to me and asked, “Sir does your father run?”
“He’s too old to run!” I said.
“Sir, there’s a non-running tax which is double the running tax, it would be in your interest that your papa runs from tomorrow, and you can do some tax-saving..!”
                               

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

After I reached this place on May 27, 1964, I have generally kept away from writing letters. Old habits, however, die hard. My daughter is here, and so are my grandsons. None of us knows you personall
apicture A. J. Philip
15 Jun 2026
As an educator committed to improving the quality of education in our country, I am writing this open letter to draw your attention to issues that require urgent intervention. I trust these concerns w
apicture Albert Rayan
15 Jun 2026
The greatest threat to religion today is not atheism but its politicisation and commercialisation. When faith is used to divide, hate and dominate, it becomes a mockery of itself. True religion begins
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
15 Jun 2026
Once the BJP leader who proudly defended his right to eat beef, Kiren Rijiju now stands accused of dismissing minority anxieties as propaganda. His evolution reflects the growing distance between cons
apicture John Dayal
15 Jun 2026
India's invisible care economy rests on the unpaid labour of millions of women. The Supreme Court has recognised homemakers as nation builders; the challenge now is to support, value, and invest in ca
apicture Jaswant Kaur
15 Jun 2026
A court that recognises a constitutional danger yet permits the process to proceed cannot remain outside the story. As allegations of mass disenfranchisement grow, the focus of political and constitut
apicture Oliver D'Souza
15 Jun 2026
As hate, violence and greed become the new normal, the Sacred Heart of Jesus challenges us to live differently. Its message of fire, forgiveness, fearlessness, freedom and fraternity remains the most
apicture Cedric Prakash
15 Jun 2026
You mark us by our labour. Hindu scriptures call us We were born From feet, From dirt, From sin.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
15 Jun 2026
A few years from now, while the old political warriors are wondering what embarrassing nickname has been invented for them, the cockroaches may still be crawling steadily forward, quietly having the l
apicture Robert Clements
15 Jun 2026
The battle over cattle is no longer merely about faith or food. It is about whether farmers can survive, whether livestock retains economic value and whether symbolism can coexist with the hard realit
apicture A. J. Philip
08 Jun 2026