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Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements The Valentine Monument..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
15 Feb 2021

The old government architect smiled to himself as he sat at the tea shop he frequented. His assistant who sat next to him though appeared a tad worried.
“No more will people sneer at me and ask what have you built that people will remember you for!” he said with a jeer, “This Valentine’s Day Monument I have designed will put my name alongside architects like Frank Lloyd Wright and Frank William Stevens!”
“All Franks sir?”
“Yes, I too will be known as frank and fearless for my style!” said the architect as he unfolded the blueprint and put it on the table, carefully placing his tea away from it. “How do you like it?” he asked his junior, “The Valentine Monument for Women!”
His junior studied the plans carefully, and his brow became more creased than before, “Sir, are you sure you’ve opened the right blueprint?” he asked.
“Of course,” said the old architect crossly, “Can’t you see what is written on top?”
“The Valentine Monument!” read his junior slowly, “It uses up quite an area sir?”
“Half the country!” said the old architect proudly, “Has anybody ever designed something involving such a gigantic space? Frank Lloyd Wright or the Victoria Terminus architect, Frank William Stevens? Have they?”
“No sir, only you the frank and fearless have done so!”
“I have been carefully noticing,”  continued the old architect, “how we have been venerating our women in the last few years and that’s when I got this….”
“Frank and fearless brainchild of an idea,” completed the younger man.
“Exactly!” said the older man.
“And how tall will it be sir?”
“Well I had a talk with Trump last night and he gave me the dimensions that would be appropriate! But I am going to make it even more monumental and have decided to double the dimensions!”
“You will certainly be remembered longer than Trump sir!” said his junior.
“I have designed this after much deliberation!” said the old man, “Have been overjoyed at love laws being passed, schemes to keep women in their homes, and finally my frank and fearless brain designed…”
“This huge, gigantic fortress like wall to keep all our women safe and secure within!” shouted his junior.
“Higher than the Trump wall!”
“Longer than the Mexican border!”
They did not see a hand that accidentally hit their glasses of tea, then watched stupefied as the brown liquid spilled all over the blue print. They looked up into the furious eyes of the waitress the small tea shop had employed, “Keep your monuments to yourself old man!” hissed the angry woman, “We are already coming out of the walls you men have built imprisoned us in for centuries. We will break down any attempts to build any such again!”
As the ‘frank and fearless’ chief fled, his junior quickly paid the bill, along with a healthy tip to guarantee his own safety ..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

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