This dark time calls to mind a quote misattributed to the Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels: "When I hear the word intellectual, I reach for my gun ... We mean to take over – nicely if possible, but if that's not possible, well, civility is not the highest of virtues." Today, politics and social interaction are a call to war, and civility is an annoying impediment. We have come full circle!

Deep into my 76th year and in the twilight zone like our Constitution, I was recently reminded by my plain-speaking daughter that I had "changed" – she didn't say for the worse, but that's what she meant. She pointed out that I had opened the entrance door to a restaurant and walked right through without observing the elementary courtesy of first giving way to an elderly lady waiting on the other side - an unpardonable crime in her view. She's right; there's no excuse for bad behaviour, even in decrepitude.

Though our choice of words may differ, we know it when we see it! The courteous and respectful treatment of those we interact with is variously called civility or, decency or sportsmanship – an acknowledgement of another's worth which entails being magnanimous, considerate and gracious in every situation. Civility is an indispensable democratic virtue not only in ordinary social interaction but more so in adversity and in triumph. How else can there be a consensus around the common good?

Sadly, such etiquette that constitutes the quintessence of civilised society is becoming increasingly rare in our social and political dialogue. Society today is plagued by boorishness, thoughtlessness, and plain meanness. We have regressed a long way from the human values of compassion, caring, and graciousness that have been dinned into children through the ages. We are losing our humanity!

More than two thousand years ago, Socrates taught the world, by example, the importance of reasoned debate where differing viewpoints could be ventilated without rancour or personal attacks. CS Lewis, the British writer, asked what he thought was a rhetorical question with only one obvious answer: "Who does not prefer civility to barbarism?" The tacit inference that civility would be the preferred choice of most people is not borne out by what's happening in the public square today. The Trumps and the Modis of the world have valourised boorishness and crudity, and millions adore them for being who they are.

The discourse on civility would be incomplete without considering two variants that are common currency today, namely "political correctness" and its latest mutant "wokeism," that not only advocate avoiding giving needless offence to another but actively support social causes like diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) as mantras for promoting fair treatment and full participation of all people, irrespective of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion or class.

These are commendable egalitarian objectives, but the "woke" zealots are their own worst enemies - a sanctimonious, self-righteous lot. They are fighting against the greatest evils of today – sexism, racism, xenophobia and Islamophobia – but have demeaned those sacred commitments and hurt their own cause by hyping the superficial with their childish wordplay (Latinx, in lieu of Latino), superior airs and disdain for religious and other cultural sensibilities. They are accused of bad faith and labelled as liberal fascists who are out to construct a 'dictatorship of virtue.'

The experts believe that a primary reason for Kamala Harris' loss in the US Presidential election was the Democratic party's visceral affiliation with "wokeism" that alienated the working class and rural 'White' America. Democrats should know that it's not just about the nobility of the cause but how you present it! Regrettably, a great song was wrecked by its crooners!

This brings me to the foremost reason for this critique on civility and the canons of social propriety. I have been unable to wrap my head around the happenings in the last few years in America and in our own backyard. Two leaders who have broken every code of civility, decency, and morality and are incapable of speaking the truth are the toast of their nations.

During his election rallies, Don Trump was vituperative, boorish and shockingly lewd, calling Kamala Harris "a sh_t Vice-President," "real garbage," even going to the extent of suggesting that she spent her life "down on her knees" - the insinuation obvious.

Trump's alter ego—our Vishwaguru—is most definitely not lacking in crassness and crudity. At ease with the street urchin's lingo, his "Didi o Didi" catcalling at Mamata Bannerjee, his cheap "jersey cow" and "Congress widow" jibes attacking Sonia Gandhi, his infamous "Rs 50 crore girlfriend" barb, were wildly applauded.

The unmitigated triumph of these two ruthless racketeers reflects a social ethos where uprightness of character is an irrelevant consideration when electing political leaders. These incendiary demagogues have captured power by artfully exploiting the majoritarian, tribal impulses of their people. That's our world today!

This brooding meditation comes from a dark place. For libtard acolytes of the 'tukde-tukde' gang like me, it's been a helluva traumatic time! The stunning Maharashtra knockout on the back of the communal "batenge tho katenge" slogan, the mischievous court-ordered survey of the Mughal-era Mosque and the meticulously planned riot in Sambhal, and the incipient claim on the Moinuddin Chishti dargah are testament that the toxic Hindutva movement is up and running! Umar Khalid and others languish in jail – victims of a criminally complicit judiciary.

We must reckon with heartless people who are outraged at the persecution of Hindus in Bangladesh but have, with 'garv,' made life hell for our Muslims for the last ten years and counting. Adani's crimes are swatted away because, to quote Roosevelt in another context, "he is our bastard". Then there's benighted Gaza, Lebanon and Ukraine at the mercy of ogres like Netanyahu, Putin and Trump. In such a dismal situation, what hope is there?

I recall my sociologist mentor's optimistic perspective that there is hope so long as there is human agency and will, individual and collective. And who said that only when it is dark can you see the stars? So, let me conclude on a hopeful note.

Sir Richard Livingstone observed that nothing educates or inspires the young so effectively as "the vision of greatness" in the realms of the spirit and character, whether in the arts, the sciences, politics or sports. The venal political class cannot lift spirits. One must look elsewhere for intimations of greatness in achievement and character. And what better place to look for heroes in word, comportment and deed than the sporting arena!

When Rafal Nadal retired from tennis last week, the Sun dimmed momentarily! Anyone who has followed world events over the years will endorse my definitive assertion that Roger Federer and Nadal are two of the most remarkable human beings of this century, not only for their transcendent sporting prowess but for their sheer character and old-world chivalry! Theirs was the fiercest rivalry of all time, packed with drama, where no quarter was given or taken. And yet, in the two decades of cut-throat battle, not once did either of them swear or misbehave on or off the court. They personified magnanimity in victory and defeat. These heroes have shown that intense rivalry and mutual respect can go together. They brought light into a dark world!

We are lost, but one can only hope and pray that the still untarnished young look up to these extraordinary human beings as inspiration and examples!