hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements National Security in Lilliput..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Nov 2022
“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

In the island of Lilliput, the people were unhappy; they wanted to change from the gods of their forefathers to another God. “He’s a living God!” they said.

“Well we’ve all been living with the same gods for centuries!” sneered the chief.

“But we would like to try out this new God!” they said.

The chief turned to his aide and asked, “What can we do?”
“File a case they have been forcibly converted!” grinned the aide to the chieftain of Lilliput.

“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

“Yes,” nodded the chieftain and his aide, who had not expected an outburst of this magnitude from a learned judge and were overjoyed by the reaction. But they did not expect the poor man who had been converted to speak up.

“Your honour!” said the converted Lilliputian, “Can you tell me why I cannot convert to a God of my choice, when I can elect a chieftain of my choice?”

There was silence in the Lilliputian court, “Because you have been offered bribes to convert!” said the judge bristling with rage.

“Ah your honour, for the last few years, the opposition are joining in hordes the party of the chieftain after being offered astronomical bribes. Have you nothing to say about that?”

“Enough!” said the judge.

“And your honour, may I know what inducement I have been offered?”

“A bag of rice!” roared the judge.

“If, your honour, I can be induced to leave the religion of my Lilliputian forefathers and run to another God for just a bag of rice, then shouldn’t hunger be the issue that should be addressed in this court and not conversion? Especially when the world calls us poor, and we say their measurement methods are wrong? Maybe here’s a measurement method that seems to be gauging right in your sight?”

The judge looked helplessly at the chieftain, who pointed in the direction of the country of Brobdingnag, in the mainland. “Ah yes,” said the judge, “also these conversions can lead to a breach in national security, because Brobdingnag believes in the religion you intend to follow!”

There was a gasp around the court as people wondered whether they’d heard right.

“National security your honour?” asked the poor man from Lilliput, “Are you saying that all those who believe in a God, different from yours, are a security threat? How?”   

The judge looked again at where the chieftain and his aide were standing, but found they were gone. They had left the court, and outside the aide turned to his chieftain and said, “Don’t you think our judge exceeded his brief?”

The chieftain of Lilliput smiled and said, “Just see that he gets a good position in our leadership after his retirement!”

Somewhere in an English grave, Jonathon Swift grunted as Gulliver laughed at the antics of the little Lilliputian chief..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Bengal once welcomed missionaries who built schools, hospitals and presses, enriching the region's education, healthcare and reform. Today, priests are told to leave their parishes. The irony is devas
apicture CM Paul
17 Aug 2026
With Christians constituting barely 2.3 per cent of India's population, the charge of mass forced conversion defies logic. Yet anti-conversion laws pivot charity into "allurement," suspicion and crime
apicture Chhotebhai
17 Aug 2026
Dr RB Sreekala's work brings out something beautiful in Koodashappana: how a German Jesuit, Kerala's Malayalam tradition and Sanskrit learning came together to tell the story of Jesus in the language
apicture A. J. Philip
17 Aug 2026
Eighty years after Independence, the question is whether Indians remain free. With increasing threats to citizenship, dissent, faith and liberty, Swaraj demands a second struggle to defend freedom for
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
17 Aug 2026
The Old Testament is insistent on this point almost to the point of severity. When Moses approached the burning bush, he was told, "Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on
apicture Dr K. M. George
17 Aug 2026
Nehru's Cabinet was surrounded by persons who did not share his ideology. They were retained mostly out of a sense of loyalty to old colleagues, persons who fought side by side for Independence.
apicture G Ramachandram
17 Aug 2026
You think I am a forbidden fruit, unworthy of your love. But I never think You are a forbidden fruit, Even though India forbids your Nagalim.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
17 Aug 2026
The truly confident leader does not need ridicule. He does not humiliate opponents or turn every speech into a performance about his own greatness. His strength is visible in restraint, fairness, humi
apicture Robert Clements
17 Aug 2026
Political independence was never Gandhi's final destination. He envisioned a Republic rooted in constitutional values, social justice and human dignity. Every Independence Day invites a single questio
apicture Joe Eruppakkatt
10 Aug 2026
The Arthashastra counsels engagement, accountability and informed leadership—not disappearance. A government that retreats from Parliament while students demand justice betrays not only democratic con
apicture A. J. Philip
10 Aug 2026