hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements National Security in Lilliput..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Nov 2022
“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

In the island of Lilliput, the people were unhappy; they wanted to change from the gods of their forefathers to another God. “He’s a living God!” they said.

“Well we’ve all been living with the same gods for centuries!” sneered the chief.

“But we would like to try out this new God!” they said.

The chief turned to his aide and asked, “What can we do?”
“File a case they have been forcibly converted!” grinned the aide to the chieftain of Lilliput.

“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

“Yes,” nodded the chieftain and his aide, who had not expected an outburst of this magnitude from a learned judge and were overjoyed by the reaction. But they did not expect the poor man who had been converted to speak up.

“Your honour!” said the converted Lilliputian, “Can you tell me why I cannot convert to a God of my choice, when I can elect a chieftain of my choice?”

There was silence in the Lilliputian court, “Because you have been offered bribes to convert!” said the judge bristling with rage.

“Ah your honour, for the last few years, the opposition are joining in hordes the party of the chieftain after being offered astronomical bribes. Have you nothing to say about that?”

“Enough!” said the judge.

“And your honour, may I know what inducement I have been offered?”

“A bag of rice!” roared the judge.

“If, your honour, I can be induced to leave the religion of my Lilliputian forefathers and run to another God for just a bag of rice, then shouldn’t hunger be the issue that should be addressed in this court and not conversion? Especially when the world calls us poor, and we say their measurement methods are wrong? Maybe here’s a measurement method that seems to be gauging right in your sight?”

The judge looked helplessly at the chieftain, who pointed in the direction of the country of Brobdingnag, in the mainland. “Ah yes,” said the judge, “also these conversions can lead to a breach in national security, because Brobdingnag believes in the religion you intend to follow!”

There was a gasp around the court as people wondered whether they’d heard right.

“National security your honour?” asked the poor man from Lilliput, “Are you saying that all those who believe in a God, different from yours, are a security threat? How?”   

The judge looked again at where the chieftain and his aide were standing, but found they were gone. They had left the court, and outside the aide turned to his chieftain and said, “Don’t you think our judge exceeded his brief?”

The chieftain of Lilliput smiled and said, “Just see that he gets a good position in our leadership after his retirement!”

Somewhere in an English grave, Jonathon Swift grunted as Gulliver laughed at the antics of the little Lilliputian chief..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

The Union government is using the PM-SHRI scheme to push states into accepting its controversial terms. By linking funds to compliance, it leaves no stone unturned in an attempt to centralise control
apicture Joseph Maliakan
27 Oct 2025
Twenty years on, the Right to Information Act stands as democracy's flashlight. It once exposed corruption, but is now dimmed by amendments, vacancies, and fear. Restoring its autonomy and protecting
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
27 Oct 2025
There is a general tendency for the older generation to look down on the younger. Gen Z may scroll and stream, but it also thinks, questions, and resists. From Ladakh to Nairobi, young voices have sta
apicture Dhairya Choudhary
27 Oct 2025
Amid stench, pain, and silence, catholic nuns embody love in its purest form—serving the abandoned with grace that mirrors Christ's compassion. Their quiet devotion exposes the emptiness of hate and r
apicture Prince Varghese
27 Oct 2025
Akin to the movie 'The Mission,' our world today demands prophetic courage to defend the vulnerable, challenge injustice, and become "missionaries of hope." The Church's call is straightforward: every
apicture Cedric Prakash
27 Oct 2025
From Bronx classrooms to Rome's newsrooms, a personal journey through perception and deception.
apicture CM Paul
27 Oct 2025
The Karur stampede that claimed 41 lives exposed the dark side of film-star worship in India. Admiration turning into blind devotion endangers lives, distorts reality, and weakens youth. Cinema, and b
apicture M L Satyan
27 Oct 2025
Whether in Tehran or in Delhi, whether it is the hijab or the flag, whether it is faith or patriotism, the world is watching. And it can see through our silk ties, designer gowns and grand speeches.
apicture Robert Clements
27 Oct 2025
Nestled in the heart of Muirabad slum, an elderly nun serves as a guiding light for the children of rickshaw pullers, providing not just education but also a sense of dignity, love, and hope for a bri
apicture CM Paul
20 Oct 2025
Last fortnight, I travelled to Sihora in Madhya Pradesh to attend the 83rd Christa Panthi Ashram Day. It was my third visit to that tranquil village, but my first to witness the annual celebration of
apicture A. J. Philip
20 Oct 2025