hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Toughening Foreign Investors..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
14 Nov 2022

A cry I’m finding across our country, from frustrated citizens is, “Repair the potholes!” Along with this pathetic plea, comes the proud shout, “Make in India!” As from our rooftops and in WhatsApp groups we applaud national leaders spending precious time and tax payers money going from country to country wooing their industrialists to open factories, offices and make huge investments in our country.

What they find when they do arrive are narrow, pothole filled roads, filthy streets lined with un-lifted garbage, sprawling slums and pollution.

“Is there some sinister master plan you are following?” I asked a spokesman from the government,

“How is it you call these foreign companies, then give them such terrible facilities?”

“For their own good my friend, for their own good!” said the smiling spokesman who seemed to be all ready to go somewhere with his bags in tow, “We want to toughen these investors in our country!”

“By giving them filth, rubbish and potholes?”

“It worked for you and me didn’t it? Did you grow up in hygienic conditions and sanitized settings?”

“No,” I admitted.

“There you are, I told you!”

“Told me what?” I asked, confused.

“It was the pot holes and dirt that shaped you!”

“Really?”

“It toughened you. You don’t go about with a hanky to your nose like those Americans and Germans and Britishers. You don’t get sick when you drink tap water and pick up a cough from vehicle fumes! See you even have dirt on the seat of your pants.”

“That’s because I slipped on some muck outside.”

“You are a tough Indian, because of the very muck you slipped on today. Now do you understand?”

“That the muck, the pot holes and dirt shaped me?”

“Yes! And we want to do the same to these white collared, suited booted men and women in their swanky designer outfits, Mercedes Benzes and Cadillacs.”

“You want to give them dirt and grime?”

“To make them world beaters like we Indians are. Guess what happens when their fancy cars hit the first pothole? They get a broken shoulder, ha, ha, ha.”

“They then fly off to Shanghai or Hong Kong and open their companies there.”

“We don’t want those.”

“You don’t want them?”

“No, they are the weak. We are looking for those who can fight our hurdles and obstacles and come out winners. We want to make men out of boys. Legends out of heroes! We want the world to think of our country as a ‘strength and character building’ destination! We have plans for other exercises!”

“Planning more potholes?”

“Let’s go farther, no roads at all! No dustbins. Just garbage all over. No buildings, only slums!”

“It’s already becoming like that,” I whispered.

“Aha, our master plan is at work. Goodbye!”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Abroad,” smiled the spokesman, “to woo those weak foreign investors to come here and toughen up..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

 

Recent Posts

Recent UDISE+ and NSO data reveal a 37-lakh enrollment decline in 2023-24 due to poverty, child labour, marriages, gender disparities, health issues, and poor education quality. Urgent measures are ne
apicture M L Satyan
13 Jan 2025
Replacing the National Talent Search Examination with a self-glorification opportunity is a sin that deprives students of opportunities. This shift is about prioritising propaganda and one person over
apicture Joseph Maliakan
13 Jan 2025
True greatness is born of sacrifice—whether through Christ's crucifixion, Gandhi's simplicity, Mandela's forgiveness, or Navalny's unyielding defiance. Their enduring legacies inspire us to confront o
apicture A. J. Philip
13 Jan 2025
when we were assessing the performance of a particular student, he quite spontaneously said, "This person cannot become tensed; without tension, what creativity?" It was then I understood what tension
apicture Gnana Patrick
13 Jan 2025
The next generation must be prepared to surmount the arising challenges in light of increasing intolerance and global and domestic conflict. Since the government is the source of corruption, individua
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
13 Jan 2025
Digital Arrest Scams: A Growing Menace in India that Demands Immediate Attention
apicture Sai Anand
13 Jan 2025
The Vedas and Upanishads embody a profound, universal philosophy celebrating inquiry, truth, and unity. Hindutva, by contrast, distorts this legacy into a rigid, exclusionary ideology, sabotaging the
apicture G Ramachandram
13 Jan 2025
India's water crisis deepens: untreated waste, industrial effluents, and plastic pollution devastate rivers, oceans, and lives. With 70% of surface water unfit for use, urgent waste management, water
apicture Janina Gomes
13 Jan 2025
We all want to emulate successful people, but if you need to enjoy life, which also means your wife, then "Chill" is a good word to remember…!
apicture Robert Clements
13 Jan 2025
History has given us different types of leaders. Transformative leaders like Gandhi and Mandela facilitated positive societal change, while destructive leaders like Hitler caused immense harm. Today's
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
06 Jan 2025