hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements You’re Only A Woman..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
04 Oct 2021

The man who’d just died walked up the steps towards the pearly gates, but a pretty angel stopped him, “Not this way sir!”
“But its written ‘Heavenly Gates’ up there?”
“For those who’ve earned the right to enter!” said the pretty angel leading him away.
“I have!” said the man looking angrily at the angel.
“I don’t think so sir, will you please turn the other way towards the gates of hell!”
“What! Who do you think you are?”
“An angel of the Lord!”
“You’re only a woman!” said the man with disdain.
“So?”
“Shut up!” shouted the man,
“What?”
“I said shut up!”
“And why should I sir?”
“Because you are a woman, even if you are an angel now, and women don’t speak to men like this!” shouted the man outside the gates of heaven.
“That sir,” said the pretty angel, “Is why you are being turned away! Down on earth, you treated women worse than the dogs you kept as pets! Your wife…”
“Has she been complaining?” asked the man.
“Not complaining, but praying everyday that you would change your ways, but with Holy Book in hand, you told her that you were her master and when you felt she wasn’t convinced, you even used your fist…”
“Yes I did..”
“To hit her with! That fist was used more for such purposes than what it was meant for! You remember hitting her, don’t you sir?”
“She used to disobey me. Sometimes I came home unexpectedly to surprise her, and found her asleep!”
“Poor, tired woman? She would have won more souls through the life she led, than the words you spoke! Did you ever hear of God thrashing men even after they sinned?”
“We are men!”
“Ah, yes I forgot, but all the more reason, you may find heaven a difficult place to live in, here men and women are equal!”
“I can adjust to that!”
“Too late sir! Too late! All are equal!”
And from the Gates of Heaven, a woman’s voice cried, “It is my husband, let him in!”
“That’s your wife!” said the pretty angel, “Even now she loves you! But she deserves better than spending eternity with a man who thought she was his slave! Ah there comes your friend the devil, to take you, where you wife beating, male chauvinistic brutes belong; in Hell..!”

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Pope Francis is bowing out in this special jubilee year of hope, which he has been leading from the front even as he has braved prolonged health concerns. As he passes on and the world bids goodbye to
apicture George Plathottam
28 Apr 2025
Francis' legacy can be summarised in four keywords that reflect powerfully and prominently in his writings, discourses, actions, and life: joy, hope, mercy, and peace.
apicture Bp Gerald John Mathias
28 Apr 2025
Pope Francis redefined leadership through humility, inclusion, and service. He stood with the marginalised, prioritised mercy over judgment, championed ecological justice, and called for reform rooted
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
28 Apr 2025
By mocking Muslims as 'puncture repairers', the Prime Minister reduces a vibrant community to a stereotype. This isn't rhetoric—it's a calculated attempt to stigmatise identity, distract from real iss
apicture A. J. Philip
28 Apr 2025
We hear people saying that the President of India is there to sign on the dotted line prepared by the ruling party. We refuse to believe it because the President is the Constitutional head of the nati
apicture P. A. Chacko
28 Apr 2025
Tamil Nadu's autonomy resolution is yet another spark in the recent federalism debates, challenging central authority over education, finance, and representation. As BJP seeks to tighten its claws, th
apicture Dr John Singarayar
28 Apr 2025
In Manipur, once-united communities now bleed at each other's hands, their bonds severed by narratives crafted far away. As homes burn and futures vanish, the real victors are those who profit from di
apicture Estelle Kipgen & Leishilembi Terem
28 Apr 2025
At a time when India seeks to attract global investment and project itself as a transparent business destination, such incidents chip away at investor confidence. International investors are already w
apicture Jaswant Kaur
28 Apr 2025
Many big children who accompany their parents to their workplaces also join the labour. But until they migrate, they roam around in the village or go to plantations. They become child labourers.
apicture F. M. Britto
28 Apr 2025
Police assaulted children and priests with lathis and beat and molested women belonging to the tribal community as they barged into Juba Catholic Church in the Gajapati district, Odisha, on March 22,
apicture Sujata Jena
28 Apr 2025