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Bob’s Banter By Robert Clements The Liquor Cabinet..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
12 Dec 2022
Once a man returned home stone drunk. His wife was furious because just a week earlier he had promised to break the habit bit by bit.

A friend of mine sent me a forward today, purely in jest I think, which got me thinking. It went like this, ‘When someone asks, ‘Where is your festive spirit?’ … Is it wrong to point to the liquor cabinet?’

I felt sad, that the true meaning of the festival he was talking about had been lost but decided today, to talk to all of us, about the contents of that liquor cabinet:

Social drinking is increasing by the day, and there is not a party I attend that does not serve liquor, and with this comes the making of alcoholics. The man who drinks once a week, starts enjoying the daily tipple, first with friends and then by himself and finally fights a losing battle with the bottle.

This was what an addict said after a session at an A.A. meeting.

“Alcohol first gave me wings to fly,

Then took away the sky.”

Another quoted the Japanese proverb:

First the man takes the drink,

Next the drink takes the drink

Then the drink takes the man.

Once a man returned home stone drunk. His wife was furious because just a week earlier he had promised to break the habit bit by bit. “What about your promise,” she asked angrily. “Aren’t you trying to discard it?”

The man answered that he was trying his best, but he was proceeding in stages. It was just like chopping off the very word ‘habit,’ he explained: when you cut off the initial ‘h’ from the world, ‘a bit’ persists. Knock off the ‘a’ and the ‘bit’ remains!

Replied the wise wife, “when you finally decide to run away from the ‘bit’ you will find that ‘it’ is still remaining!

Sir William Osler, eminent Canadian Physician, was lecturing on alcohol. “Is it true,” asked a student, “that alcohol enables people to do things better?”

“No,” replied Sir William. “It just makes them less ashamed of doing them badly!”

Mukund: “Why do you drink so much?”

Raj: “I’m trying to drown my sorrows.”

Mukund: “Are you succeeding?”

Raj: “No, I guess I’ve learned how to swim by now!”

And here’s a warning in old English, read it carefully:

Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame,

When once it is within three; but before

Mayst rule it, as thou list: and pour the shame,

Which it would pour on thee, upon the floor.

It is most just to throw that on the ground,

Which would throw me there, if I keep the round!

So, dear friend, ‘If someone asks, ‘Where is your festive spirit?’ … don’t point to the liquor cabinet, point instead, to the Babe in the Manger..!’

bobsbanter@gmail.com

 

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