hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements National Security in Lilliput..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Nov 2022
“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

In the island of Lilliput, the people were unhappy; they wanted to change from the gods of their forefathers to another God. “He’s a living God!” they said.

“Well we’ve all been living with the same gods for centuries!” sneered the chief.

“But we would like to try out this new God!” they said.

The chief turned to his aide and asked, “What can we do?”
“File a case they have been forcibly converted!” grinned the aide to the chieftain of Lilliput.

“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

“Yes,” nodded the chieftain and his aide, who had not expected an outburst of this magnitude from a learned judge and were overjoyed by the reaction. But they did not expect the poor man who had been converted to speak up.

“Your honour!” said the converted Lilliputian, “Can you tell me why I cannot convert to a God of my choice, when I can elect a chieftain of my choice?”

There was silence in the Lilliputian court, “Because you have been offered bribes to convert!” said the judge bristling with rage.

“Ah your honour, for the last few years, the opposition are joining in hordes the party of the chieftain after being offered astronomical bribes. Have you nothing to say about that?”

“Enough!” said the judge.

“And your honour, may I know what inducement I have been offered?”

“A bag of rice!” roared the judge.

“If, your honour, I can be induced to leave the religion of my Lilliputian forefathers and run to another God for just a bag of rice, then shouldn’t hunger be the issue that should be addressed in this court and not conversion? Especially when the world calls us poor, and we say their measurement methods are wrong? Maybe here’s a measurement method that seems to be gauging right in your sight?”

The judge looked helplessly at the chieftain, who pointed in the direction of the country of Brobdingnag, in the mainland. “Ah yes,” said the judge, “also these conversions can lead to a breach in national security, because Brobdingnag believes in the religion you intend to follow!”

There was a gasp around the court as people wondered whether they’d heard right.

“National security your honour?” asked the poor man from Lilliput, “Are you saying that all those who believe in a God, different from yours, are a security threat? How?”   

The judge looked again at where the chieftain and his aide were standing, but found they were gone. They had left the court, and outside the aide turned to his chieftain and said, “Don’t you think our judge exceeded his brief?”

The chieftain of Lilliput smiled and said, “Just see that he gets a good position in our leadership after his retirement!”

Somewhere in an English grave, Jonathon Swift grunted as Gulliver laughed at the antics of the little Lilliputian chief..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Nestled in the heart of Muirabad slum, an elderly nun serves as a guiding light for the children of rickshaw pullers, providing not just education but also a sense of dignity, love, and hope for a bri
apicture CM Paul
20 Oct 2025
Last fortnight, I travelled to Sihora in Madhya Pradesh to attend the 83rd Christa Panthi Ashram Day. It was my third visit to that tranquil village, but my first to witness the annual celebration of
apicture A. J. Philip
20 Oct 2025
From innovator to inmate, Sonam Wangchuk's journey mirrors India's uneasy relationship with dissent. Once hailed for transforming Ladakh's education and environment, he now sits behind bars under the
apicture Joseph Jerald SJ
20 Oct 2025
Teachers' laments echo through the classrooms. Grades have replaced growth, learning is business, and respect lies buried under parental demands and corporate pressure. We are raising hollow achievers
apicture Prince Varghese
20 Oct 2025
In classrooms turned pressure cookers, India's children chase ranks instead of dreams. Every exam season claims new victims while forgetting those from the previous season. When success is equated to
apicture Jaswant Kaur
20 Oct 2025
In essence, Dilexi te calls the global Church to re-centre its life and mission on compassionate love, transforming both hearts and societies. By uniting contemplation and action, theology and justice
apicture Fr. Royston Pinto, SJ
20 Oct 2025
From temples to tech platforms, faith today has a price tag. Access to the sacred has become a service, and devotion has become a delivery model. It is time to ask—are we still praising, or merely pri
apicture M L Satyan
20 Oct 2025
The shoe hurled at the Chief Justice was more than an act of rage. It was a symptom of a deeper rot. Caste arrogance, coupled with political immunity, made a mockery of the justice system. India's dem
apicture Ram Puniyani
20 Oct 2025
Patience is passion tamed. Certainly, our patience is bound to achieve more than our force. A little patience should allow us to escape much mortification. What we usually forget is Time takes away as
apicture P. Raja
20 Oct 2025
When we stay away from gatherings of peace, are we making a quiet statement that peace is someone else's business? That compassion is an optional virtue? I hope I'm wrong. I hope our absence doesn't s
apicture Robert Clements
20 Oct 2025