hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements National Security in Lilliput..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Nov 2022
“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

In the island of Lilliput, the people were unhappy; they wanted to change from the gods of their forefathers to another God. “He’s a living God!” they said.

“Well we’ve all been living with the same gods for centuries!” sneered the chief.

“But we would like to try out this new God!” they said.

The chief turned to his aide and asked, “What can we do?”
“File a case they have been forcibly converted!” grinned the aide to the chieftain of Lilliput.

“Forcible conversion!” shouted the judge, “Terrible. This should be stopped!”

“Yes,” nodded the chieftain and his aide, who had not expected an outburst of this magnitude from a learned judge and were overjoyed by the reaction. But they did not expect the poor man who had been converted to speak up.

“Your honour!” said the converted Lilliputian, “Can you tell me why I cannot convert to a God of my choice, when I can elect a chieftain of my choice?”

There was silence in the Lilliputian court, “Because you have been offered bribes to convert!” said the judge bristling with rage.

“Ah your honour, for the last few years, the opposition are joining in hordes the party of the chieftain after being offered astronomical bribes. Have you nothing to say about that?”

“Enough!” said the judge.

“And your honour, may I know what inducement I have been offered?”

“A bag of rice!” roared the judge.

“If, your honour, I can be induced to leave the religion of my Lilliputian forefathers and run to another God for just a bag of rice, then shouldn’t hunger be the issue that should be addressed in this court and not conversion? Especially when the world calls us poor, and we say their measurement methods are wrong? Maybe here’s a measurement method that seems to be gauging right in your sight?”

The judge looked helplessly at the chieftain, who pointed in the direction of the country of Brobdingnag, in the mainland. “Ah yes,” said the judge, “also these conversions can lead to a breach in national security, because Brobdingnag believes in the religion you intend to follow!”

There was a gasp around the court as people wondered whether they’d heard right.

“National security your honour?” asked the poor man from Lilliput, “Are you saying that all those who believe in a God, different from yours, are a security threat? How?”   

The judge looked again at where the chieftain and his aide were standing, but found they were gone. They had left the court, and outside the aide turned to his chieftain and said, “Don’t you think our judge exceeded his brief?”

The chieftain of Lilliput smiled and said, “Just see that he gets a good position in our leadership after his retirement!”

Somewhere in an English grave, Jonathon Swift grunted as Gulliver laughed at the antics of the little Lilliputian chief..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com

Recent Posts

From Somnath to Ayodhya, history is being recast as grievance and revenge as politics. Myths replace evidence, Nehru and Gandhi are caricatured, and ancient plunder is weaponised to divide the present
apicture Ram Puniyani
19 Jan 2026
When leaders invoke "revenge" and ancient wounds, politics turns supposed grievances into fuel. From Somnath to Delhi, history is repurposed to polarise, distract from governance, and normalise hate,
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
19 Jan 2026
As Blackstone and KKR buy Kerala's hospitals, care risks becoming a balance-sheet decision. The state's current people-first model faces an American-style, insurance-driven system where MBAs replace d
apicture Joseph Maliakan
19 Jan 2026
Christians are persecuted in every one of the eight countries in South Asia, but even prominent religious groups, Hindus and Muslims, and smaller groups of Sikhs and Buddhists, also find themselves ta
apicture John Dayal
19 Jan 2026
"The Patronage of 'Daily-ness': Holiness in the Ordinary"
apicture Rev. Dr Merlin Rengith Ambrose, DCL
19 Jan 2026
Pride runs deeper than we often admit. It colours the way we see ourselves, shapes the circles we move in, and decides who gets to stand inside those circles with us. Not all pride works the same way.
apicture Dr John Singarayar
19 Jan 2026
India's problem is no longer judicial overreach but executive overdrive. Through agencies, procedure and timing, politics now shapes legality itself. Courts arrive late, elections are influenced early
apicture Oliver D'Souza
19 Jan 2026
India is being hollowed out twice over: votes bought with stolen welfare money, and voters erased by design. As politics becomes spectacle and bribery becomes policy, democracy slips from "vote chori"
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
19 Jan 2026
Oh my follower, You named yourself mine. To gain convenience Personal, professional, political Without ever touching
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
19 Jan 2026
Our chains are more sophisticated. They are decorated with religion. Polished with patriotism. Justified with fear of 'the other.' We are told someone is always trying to convert us. Someone is always
apicture Robert Clements
19 Jan 2026