It's been just an hour since I returned from an incredibly lovely holiday, and in my imagination, a local politician standing for the state elections walks across as I get out of the car. "How was the trip, sir?" he asks as I rub my back. "I suppose you took the Atal-Setu Bridge. Isn't it wonderful what we are doing for the city and country?"
"And this?" I ask him, pointing to my aching back, which he ignores and instead pulls out pictures of other infrastructure projects his party has done, "Just look at these - road on road, bridge winding over bridge pics sir. Spectacular, isn't it?"
"Yes," I said, "spectacular pictures, till you drive on them!"
"Ah," he said, his face lighting up, "You mean you had a bumpy ride?"
"Bumpy is an understatement," I tell him, "There were times, when I thought we were an army tank ploughing through a minefield, with a rough road with no smooth finish, growling and sputtering beneath us!"
"Excellent!" smiles the politician.
"Excellent?" I ask incredulously, "You call such roads excellent? I thought once or twice our car would shoot into the air, as we came out of a rising road, that shot up like a runway helping an old Dakota to take off!"
"All this is for a purpose sir!" says the politician patiently.
"And that is?" I ask.
"To remind you of the potholes and craters we receive every monsoon. And since we've not been able to solve that problem, we reasoned the driving public should be constantly warned and reminded, not to take things for granted, and that the pothole season would soon be here!"
"Yet you have put up boards, saying we can drive at 100 km per hour?" I ask him.
"We call those boards dream-boards sir! Have you seen people trudging from the metro station to the airport? They actually dreamt that the airport station meant next to the airport! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"Have you ever driven abroad?" I ask him. "I drove hours last month in England, Scotland, and Ireland and was none the worse for wear because the road surfaces were silky smooth!"
"Sir, please don't be anti-national, in our country, we follow our own methods."
"But the world is fooled by your aerial view of bridges, sea-links and roads!" I tell him.
"Sir, even the moon looks lovely and romantic from here, but land there, and what will you find? Craters and potholes!" he says with a guffaw, clutching his pictures before moving to the next gullible person.
I rub my aching back while asking myself, when will our people realise they're being fooled by aerial pictures of progress, whereas ground zero shows a different picture...!