(Emeritus Bishop Joseph Pathalil of Udaipur died on April 14 after prolonged illness. He was 85. After his death, the diocesan officials recovered two letters from his possessions: one addressed to his relatives in Kerala and another to his priests. Given below is the text of Bishop Pathalil’s letter to his priests)

My dear Fathers,

This is not a voice from the other world but I am putting down a few things before I am actually gone.

I take leave of you with joy, happiness and gratitude. The Lord chose me to be His instrument in building up His kingdom in this part of His vineyard. l answered that call and gave my energy and time towards fulfilling it. I always tried to listen to His guiding Word in various ways.

He usually communicates His will through His word in the Bible, through my own conscience, through the voice of others and in the signs of the times. I cannot say that it was always correct or the best thing for God’s kingdom. But I do know l acted according to my conscience and according to what I thought was God’s will. Sometimes it had been a struggle. But l never made such decisions except before the Lord in Prayer.

Yes, prayer was my strength. Long ago l had made a resolution to spend at least one hour daily in personal prayer, apart from the prayer of the Church and the Eucharist and so on. And by and large I have been faithful.

This alone, I am convinced, has been my strength and my shield. Whatever I did it was not only for His glory but with Him, surrendering my faculties and allowing myself to be used for His purpose. I was blessed by God to live continuously in His presence, and He gave me extraordinary strength and courage to accept trials and difficulties but small in comparison, all the same, to so many I know have gone through very generously and with resignation.

In spite of all this, I have not been half as good/holy as I should have been, with so many blessings God gave me.

In fact, I consider myself most sincerely the lowliest among you. My sins have been many and due to some of my ways, many of you have also suffered much. God forgive me and I beg your generous forgiveness too. l have nothing to bank on except the inscrutable love of God. In spite of all my sins and shortcomings He is simply in love with me and will not hold my sins against me.

Hence, I take leave of you joyously, thanking you all for the love and co-operation you gave me in the years. l was privileged first to be a co-member with you and later as your shepherd and leader. He had entrusted me with some responsibilities, which I tried to carry out with your cooperation. To many it may appear unfinished. I have no such feeling.

The Lord gave me a job to be done up to a point and when he felt it was enough, He called me. l have always said it was not the work that we do that matters, but what we are. The fruits of your apostolate are not so much on the amount of work we put in, but on the love and sacrifice we put in.

It is not our work that we are doing, but His (work). He intends to work through us. We have only to surrender our faculties to Him in complete surrender. So, we need not look for external results. They may come or may not come. We are always successful as Jesus was, where He hanged on the cross, abandoned even by his closest disciples, except John and a few women. What external reward do we want then? The disciple is not greater than the Master, certainly as Master.

So, my dear brother priests, I leave with a feeling of satisfaction and joy. I have tried to be sincere and honest before Him. Human weakness may have caused some mistakes. The Lord will pardon me. l am sure you too will be indulgent and generous towards your elder brother in the presbyterium.

This unity of our presbyterium has been one of my primary concerns. The diocese has been my home. On the day of Episcopal ordination especially, I espoused you all. Even before that I had accepted our people as my own and I sincerely loved my people. These were indeed, my brothers and sisters. Episcopal ordination strengthened that bond in me. I know I loved each one of you and tried to help and encourage you in your priesthood.

And it must have seemed at times to some that I was too hard on you. But I can assure you I always acted with the best of intentions, for your own good and for the Church. For me all my priests, my dearest brothers and I never harbored any feeling of difference, and I wish that be the feeling of every member of our presbyterium.

On financial matters, I have tried to be absolutely honest and used every penny for our Church. Even my personal money has been poured into the common. There are one or two air-conditioners in my personal name all of which I have entered in my will to be transferred to diocesan (account).

I have had no financial dealings with my relatives, and no one has any claim on anything. My only home is the diocese which has every right over me and my so-called belongings. I go, a free man, in the freedom of my Father.

In this respect, afraid as I am to do so even though I am sincere, I may be allowed at this juncture to tell my brother priests, I beg of you, if you wish to have strength in the priesthood and be able to be a fit instrument of His Kingdom, be men of prayer, and be sincere and honest in all matters.

Thanking you and asking your prayers to be worthy of God’s mercy for my own follies and sins, I take your leave. God bless you.

Bishop Joseph Pathalil