hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Farmer Talks..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Dec 2020

A friend of mine, who says he is a supporter of the ruling party was quite upset the Courts had stepped in between the government and the farmers, “But we were having good talks,” he said, his face very crestfallen, “In fact I had even made a blueprint to make the talks successful. Would you like to see it?” I nodded as he opened a script and held it out to me to read, “This is how I have suggested the talks should go,” he said.

“Hello Farmer, you have come all the way riding on a tractor?”

“Yes sir, we drove in the bitter cold, because it is important you repeal these three farm laws!”

“And what tractor do you have Farmer sir? See I have catalogues of different tractors! In fact, my two close friends to whom we are handing over most of the businesses in our beloved country are willing to get into the tractor business too. What model do you have?”

“It is an old tractor sir, and I will have no money to buy a new one if these new laws are implemented!”

“I will set up a meeting with them, when did you last change your tyres farmer sir, because my two friends are also thinking of getting into the tire business, I could set up a meeting with them! See our meeting is becoming fruitful! You will really benefit from it.”

“Sir those water cannon you used on us, was not fair. The water was so strong it broke most of our wrist watches!”

“What was your watch?”

“It was my father’s watch sir, and it was given to him by his father!”

“My two friends are also planning to open a watch factory. Their watches will withstand water pressure at even 300 feet below sea level! If you can get your wife, and children interested, I could arrange for my friends to give you a family discount? Think about it; it’s always good to know how much time you have before the next cannon blast!”

“Sir, farmers are the backbone of our country! We have served you well, through thick and thin, through bad days and good, through days of peace and days of war!”

“War! That reminds me, would you like to keep a few jet fighters around your farm, my friend has just bagged a contract to manufacture them, and if we could help him get a few thousand more, then he could give you a ‘buy two, get one free’ deal? You know for cloud seeding and pesticide spraying, a fighter could be useful, whoom-boom and your job is done!”

My friend stared ashen faced at me as he took back the scripts, saying, “I have a hundred more pages like this for another three months of talks, can you tell me, why would the learned judges want to take over?”

bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

The defection of seven AAP Rajya Sabha MPs simultaneously crossed the anti-defection law's two-thirds merger threshold, exposing how constitutional safeguards themselves can be used to legitimise mass
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
04 May 2026
The reason I write this now is that you once tried to show the Congress Party in a poor light by claiming its leaders have few qualms about leaving and joining the BJP. You asserted that, in contrast,
apicture A. J. Philip
04 May 2026
Worker unrest in Noida exposes the hollow promises of Labour Codes, as exploitative conditions persist amid weak protections and repression. Rooted in dignity and justice, the call for solidarity high
apicture Cedric Prakash
04 May 2026
Despite massive violence and displacement in Manipur, justice remains absent and accountability elusive. Increased militarisation without political resolution risks deepening conflict, as unresolved g
apicture John Dayal
04 May 2026
A tribal man carrying his sister's corpse to a bank exposed the cruelty of a governance system obsessed with documentation and authentication. The article argues that welfare, pensions, food, labour,
apicture Jaswant Kaur
04 May 2026
The Kerala High Court reaffirmed that an adult woman's choice of faith, celibacy, or religious life lies within her exclusive private domain. The judgment stressed that parental displeasure cannot jus
apicture Jessy Kurian
04 May 2026
While powerful businessmen loot public wealth with impunity, widows, migrant labourers, and the poor struggle for survival through humiliation and neglect. Fraud, inequality, and proximity to politica
apicture Prakash Louis
04 May 2026
Manu Smriti 2.148: "Jati stands for 'Janma,' birth." Apastamba Dharma Shastra 1.1.1.4-5: "[There are] four castes Brahmana, Kshatriyas, Vaishya, and Shudra."
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
04 May 2026
Trump's threats to "wipe out" Iran are a warning against arrogant majoritarian politics everywhere. Violence, hubris and intolerance ultimately destroy both empires and constitutional societies.
apicture Thomas Menamparampil
04 May 2026
Union Minister Jyotiraditya Scindia has apparently discovered a revolutionary alternative to air conditioning. A humble onion in his pocket!
apicture Robert Clements
04 May 2026