hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements Farmer Talks..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
21 Dec 2020

A friend of mine, who says he is a supporter of the ruling party was quite upset the Courts had stepped in between the government and the farmers, “But we were having good talks,” he said, his face very crestfallen, “In fact I had even made a blueprint to make the talks successful. Would you like to see it?” I nodded as he opened a script and held it out to me to read, “This is how I have suggested the talks should go,” he said.

“Hello Farmer, you have come all the way riding on a tractor?”

“Yes sir, we drove in the bitter cold, because it is important you repeal these three farm laws!”

“And what tractor do you have Farmer sir? See I have catalogues of different tractors! In fact, my two close friends to whom we are handing over most of the businesses in our beloved country are willing to get into the tractor business too. What model do you have?”

“It is an old tractor sir, and I will have no money to buy a new one if these new laws are implemented!”

“I will set up a meeting with them, when did you last change your tyres farmer sir, because my two friends are also thinking of getting into the tire business, I could set up a meeting with them! See our meeting is becoming fruitful! You will really benefit from it.”

“Sir those water cannon you used on us, was not fair. The water was so strong it broke most of our wrist watches!”

“What was your watch?”

“It was my father’s watch sir, and it was given to him by his father!”

“My two friends are also planning to open a watch factory. Their watches will withstand water pressure at even 300 feet below sea level! If you can get your wife, and children interested, I could arrange for my friends to give you a family discount? Think about it; it’s always good to know how much time you have before the next cannon blast!”

“Sir, farmers are the backbone of our country! We have served you well, through thick and thin, through bad days and good, through days of peace and days of war!”

“War! That reminds me, would you like to keep a few jet fighters around your farm, my friend has just bagged a contract to manufacture them, and if we could help him get a few thousand more, then he could give you a ‘buy two, get one free’ deal? You know for cloud seeding and pesticide spraying, a fighter could be useful, whoom-boom and your job is done!”

My friend stared ashen faced at me as he took back the scripts, saying, “I have a hundred more pages like this for another three months of talks, can you tell me, why would the learned judges want to take over?”

bobsbanter@gmail.com
 

Recent Posts

Bengal once welcomed missionaries who built schools, hospitals and presses, enriching the region's education, healthcare and reform. Today, priests are told to leave their parishes. The irony is devas
apicture CM Paul
17 Aug 2026
With Christians constituting barely 2.3 per cent of India's population, the charge of mass forced conversion defies logic. Yet anti-conversion laws pivot charity into "allurement," suspicion and crime
apicture Chhotebhai
17 Aug 2026
Dr RB Sreekala's work brings out something beautiful in Koodashappana: how a German Jesuit, Kerala's Malayalam tradition and Sanskrit learning came together to tell the story of Jesus in the language
apicture A. J. Philip
17 Aug 2026
Eighty years after Independence, the question is whether Indians remain free. With increasing threats to citizenship, dissent, faith and liberty, Swaraj demands a second struggle to defend freedom for
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
17 Aug 2026
The Old Testament is insistent on this point almost to the point of severity. When Moses approached the burning bush, he was told, "Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on
apicture Dr K. M. George
17 Aug 2026
Nehru's Cabinet was surrounded by persons who did not share his ideology. They were retained mostly out of a sense of loyalty to old colleagues, persons who fought side by side for Independence.
apicture G Ramachandram
17 Aug 2026
You think I am a forbidden fruit, unworthy of your love. But I never think You are a forbidden fruit, Even though India forbids your Nagalim.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
17 Aug 2026
The truly confident leader does not need ridicule. He does not humiliate opponents or turn every speech into a performance about his own greatness. His strength is visible in restraint, fairness, humi
apicture Robert Clements
17 Aug 2026
Political independence was never Gandhi's final destination. He envisioned a Republic rooted in constitutional values, social justice and human dignity. Every Independence Day invites a single questio
apicture Joe Eruppakkatt
10 Aug 2026
The Arthashastra counsels engagement, accountability and informed leadership—not disappearance. A government that retreats from Parliament while students demand justice betrays not only democratic con
apicture A. J. Philip
10 Aug 2026