hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements The Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
22 Feb 2021

The mechanic who’d come over to repair my broken fender, stood in front of my car, “Sir!” he said happily, “as soon as I got sahibs phone call, I took my spanners, pliers, hammer and screwdriver…”
“And jack!” I reminded him.
“Yes sir, and jack, and came over here!”
“Why don’t you just say, you came here with your toolki..”
“No sir, no sir, don’t say that word!” shrieked the mechanic, “I have a twenty - two year old daughter at home. I don’t want her to go to jail!”
“I’m not sending your daughter to jail, we’re just talking about your tools, your spanner, and screwdriver and hammer..”
“And jack sir!”
“Yes, yes, and jack, and putting them into a toolki…”
“Sir! No, they are listening, if they hear you, they will think you are from Sweden!”
“Everybody knows I am not from Sweden!” I said.
“Sir, now, we don’t know who is Indian and who is trying to break our country!”
“Break our country?” I asked surprised.
“Yes sir, you also could be a swedishionist!”
“A what? You mean a seditionist?” I asked.
“Sir please, don’t say such words loudly, I heard only fifteen minutes you can speak to your daughter in jail! What I will do with only fifteen minutes?”
I looked at my broken fender, and at the poor mechanic who was on the verge of a collapse.
“How much?” I asked.
“What sir?”
“How much to repair my broken fender?”
“Fifty thousand rupees sir?”
“What?” I screamed and I saw my neighbours peeping out of their windows, “Fifty thousand rupees to repair a bumper? Even a new one is one tenth the cost! Are you mad?”
“No sir!”
“Then why are you charging me this atrocious amount?”
“That is how much a Supreme Court lawyer charges per hour sir, and I will need at least four to five more broken bumpers to get her out of jail!”
“But she is not in jail!” I told him gently.
“But she will soon be sir!” wept my mechanic.
“Why, because she is twenty-two years old?” I asked chuckling.
“No sir, this morning, she could not find her college books bag, and took my Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box instead to class sir!”
“You mean your toolki..”
“Sir, sir, don’t say the word,” screamed my mechanic as a siren sounded in the distance and he fainted.
The next day I drove with a broken fender, realizing it was not just mechanics with Screwdriver, Spanner, and Hammer boxes who now lived in what was once a fearless country, where one could get a fender repaired without a mechanic fainting on his job if the kit where he kept his tools was mentioned aloud..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com     
 

Recent Posts

There are occasions that begin as award ceremonies but end up becoming journeys through memory. The first Fr. Xavier Vadakkekara–Kerala Club Award 2026, presented to well-known journalist Unni Balakri
apicture A. J. Philip
27 Jul 2026
History's gravest political failures began not with rebellion but with rulers convinced they could never be wrong. The higher the pedestal of power, the greater the need for humility, accountability a
apicture A. J. Philip
27 Jul 2026
The Sansad March was never just about exam reforms. It became a battle over who truly holds power in India—the people or the state—and whether peaceful dissent will be answered with accountability or
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
27 Jul 2026
The throwaway culture has not stopped at plastic and gadgets—it has reached people. As families shrink and loneliness grows, Pope Leo XIV calls Christians to restore the forgotten dignity of grandpare
apicture Cedric Prakash
27 Jul 2026
The students' uprising has exposed the Modi government's greatest political vulnerability. If the Opposition cannot transform this unprecedented youth discontent into a sustained national movement, it
apicture G Ramachandram
27 Jul 2026
History remembers unlikely symbols. In India, the cockroach has become an emblem of endurance. It has become a reminder to the powerful that resilience cannot be ridiculed into silence.
apicture Dr Martin Valiyaparambil VC
27 Jul 2026
From ages of dust and burdens untold, It rose where countless sorrows unfold, Born to cleanse what centuries stained, A land where fear and silence reigned.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
27 Jul 2026
Currently, a sit-in is going on in front of Jauhar University in Rampur. Azam Khan, a member of the Samajwadi Party who is in jail at present, is the chairman of the trust running the University. Stud
apicture Ram Puniyani
27 Jul 2026
Imagine if nations practised that. Imagine if politicians believed it before delivering speeches. Imagine if we looked at the person praying differently from us and quietly said, "Your life is as prec
apicture Robert Clements
27 Jul 2026
From collapsing public institutions and shrinking academic freedom to corruption, communal polarisation, and attacks on constitutional rights, the nation's deepest crisis is not administrative failure
apicture Cedric Prakash
20 Jul 2026