hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements The Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
22 Feb 2021

The mechanic who’d come over to repair my broken fender, stood in front of my car, “Sir!” he said happily, “as soon as I got sahibs phone call, I took my spanners, pliers, hammer and screwdriver…”
“And jack!” I reminded him.
“Yes sir, and jack, and came over here!”
“Why don’t you just say, you came here with your toolki..”
“No sir, no sir, don’t say that word!” shrieked the mechanic, “I have a twenty - two year old daughter at home. I don’t want her to go to jail!”
“I’m not sending your daughter to jail, we’re just talking about your tools, your spanner, and screwdriver and hammer..”
“And jack sir!”
“Yes, yes, and jack, and putting them into a toolki…”
“Sir! No, they are listening, if they hear you, they will think you are from Sweden!”
“Everybody knows I am not from Sweden!” I said.
“Sir, now, we don’t know who is Indian and who is trying to break our country!”
“Break our country?” I asked surprised.
“Yes sir, you also could be a swedishionist!”
“A what? You mean a seditionist?” I asked.
“Sir please, don’t say such words loudly, I heard only fifteen minutes you can speak to your daughter in jail! What I will do with only fifteen minutes?”
I looked at my broken fender, and at the poor mechanic who was on the verge of a collapse.
“How much?” I asked.
“What sir?”
“How much to repair my broken fender?”
“Fifty thousand rupees sir?”
“What?” I screamed and I saw my neighbours peeping out of their windows, “Fifty thousand rupees to repair a bumper? Even a new one is one tenth the cost! Are you mad?”
“No sir!”
“Then why are you charging me this atrocious amount?”
“That is how much a Supreme Court lawyer charges per hour sir, and I will need at least four to five more broken bumpers to get her out of jail!”
“But she is not in jail!” I told him gently.
“But she will soon be sir!” wept my mechanic.
“Why, because she is twenty-two years old?” I asked chuckling.
“No sir, this morning, she could not find her college books bag, and took my Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box instead to class sir!”
“You mean your toolki..”
“Sir, sir, don’t say the word,” screamed my mechanic as a siren sounded in the distance and he fainted.
The next day I drove with a broken fender, realizing it was not just mechanics with Screwdriver, Spanner, and Hammer boxes who now lived in what was once a fearless country, where one could get a fender repaired without a mechanic fainting on his job if the kit where he kept his tools was mentioned aloud..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com     
 

Recent Posts

VD Satheesan emerges as a leader shaped by accessibility, intellect, and democratic openness rather than authoritarianism. His rise reflects Kerala's desire for generational change, responsive governa
apicture A. J. Philip
18 May 2026
Hatred may yield short-term political gains, but history shows that it ultimately destroys societies, economies, and democratic values. Rising communal rhetoric in India threatens social harmony, maki
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
18 May 2026
NEET has become more than an exam; it reflects deep inequalities in India's education system. Repeated paper leaks, excessive reliance on coaching, limited seats, and crushing pressure have undermined
apicture Jaswant Kaur
18 May 2026
The contrasting first weeks of C. Joseph Vijay and Suvendu Adhikari revealed two distinct political paths shaped by populism, symbolism, and religious messaging. Their early decisions, controversies,
apicture Julian S Das
18 May 2026
Recent electoral gains have given Rahul Gandhi and the Congress a renewed opportunity to challenge the BJP nationally. Yet rebuilding weak grassroots structures, unifying opposition forces, and presen
apicture John Dayal
18 May 2026
From silence to sacrifice: three Imphal Salesian martyrs chose death over betrayal, leaving a legacy of courage that endures twenty five years on.
apicture CM Paul
18 May 2026
Dvija (Brahmana, Kshatriya, Vaishya) must throw leftover food of Shraddha on the ground for Chandala (Untouchable), dogs, and birds to eat. (Manu Smriti 3.92, Markandeya Purana 26.45-46; Kurma Purana
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
18 May 2026
Not dictatorship by tanks. Not an emergency rule. But something far more dangerous. Which is a democracy where the scoreboard still works, the crowds still cheer, the commentators still shout, the pla
apicture Robert Clements
18 May 2026
The 2026 West Bengal elections exposed how democratic institutions can be weakened without a formal suspension of democracy. Through voter deletions, administrative filtering, heavy enforcement deploy
apicture Oliver D'Souza
11 May 2026
The proposed School Management Committees mark an unprecedented Union encroachment into school governance, threatening state powers and minority rights. The guidelines lack constitutional backing, und
apicture Joseph Maliakan
11 May 2026