hidden image

Bob’s Banter by Robert Clements The Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box..!

Robert Clements Robert Clements
22 Feb 2021

The mechanic who’d come over to repair my broken fender, stood in front of my car, “Sir!” he said happily, “as soon as I got sahibs phone call, I took my spanners, pliers, hammer and screwdriver…”
“And jack!” I reminded him.
“Yes sir, and jack, and came over here!”
“Why don’t you just say, you came here with your toolki..”
“No sir, no sir, don’t say that word!” shrieked the mechanic, “I have a twenty - two year old daughter at home. I don’t want her to go to jail!”
“I’m not sending your daughter to jail, we’re just talking about your tools, your spanner, and screwdriver and hammer..”
“And jack sir!”
“Yes, yes, and jack, and putting them into a toolki…”
“Sir! No, they are listening, if they hear you, they will think you are from Sweden!”
“Everybody knows I am not from Sweden!” I said.
“Sir, now, we don’t know who is Indian and who is trying to break our country!”
“Break our country?” I asked surprised.
“Yes sir, you also could be a swedishionist!”
“A what? You mean a seditionist?” I asked.
“Sir please, don’t say such words loudly, I heard only fifteen minutes you can speak to your daughter in jail! What I will do with only fifteen minutes?”
I looked at my broken fender, and at the poor mechanic who was on the verge of a collapse.
“How much?” I asked.
“What sir?”
“How much to repair my broken fender?”
“Fifty thousand rupees sir?”
“What?” I screamed and I saw my neighbours peeping out of their windows, “Fifty thousand rupees to repair a bumper? Even a new one is one tenth the cost! Are you mad?”
“No sir!”
“Then why are you charging me this atrocious amount?”
“That is how much a Supreme Court lawyer charges per hour sir, and I will need at least four to five more broken bumpers to get her out of jail!”
“But she is not in jail!” I told him gently.
“But she will soon be sir!” wept my mechanic.
“Why, because she is twenty-two years old?” I asked chuckling.
“No sir, this morning, she could not find her college books bag, and took my Spanner, Screwdriver, Hammer Box instead to class sir!”
“You mean your toolki..”
“Sir, sir, don’t say the word,” screamed my mechanic as a siren sounded in the distance and he fainted.
The next day I drove with a broken fender, realizing it was not just mechanics with Screwdriver, Spanner, and Hammer boxes who now lived in what was once a fearless country, where one could get a fender repaired without a mechanic fainting on his job if the kit where he kept his tools was mentioned aloud..!

bobsbanter@gmail.com     
 

Recent Posts

Bengal once welcomed missionaries who built schools, hospitals and presses, enriching the region's education, healthcare and reform. Today, priests are told to leave their parishes. The irony is devas
apicture CM Paul
17 Aug 2026
With Christians constituting barely 2.3 per cent of India's population, the charge of mass forced conversion defies logic. Yet anti-conversion laws pivot charity into "allurement," suspicion and crime
apicture Chhotebhai
17 Aug 2026
Dr RB Sreekala's work brings out something beautiful in Koodashappana: how a German Jesuit, Kerala's Malayalam tradition and Sanskrit learning came together to tell the story of Jesus in the language
apicture A. J. Philip
17 Aug 2026
Eighty years after Independence, the question is whether Indians remain free. With increasing threats to citizenship, dissent, faith and liberty, Swaraj demands a second struggle to defend freedom for
apicture Jacob Peenikaparambil
17 Aug 2026
The Old Testament is insistent on this point almost to the point of severity. When Moses approached the burning bush, he was told, "Do not come near; take your sandals off your feet, for the place on
apicture Dr K. M. George
17 Aug 2026
Nehru's Cabinet was surrounded by persons who did not share his ideology. They were retained mostly out of a sense of loyalty to old colleagues, persons who fought side by side for Independence.
apicture G Ramachandram
17 Aug 2026
You think I am a forbidden fruit, unworthy of your love. But I never think You are a forbidden fruit, Even though India forbids your Nagalim.
apicture Dr Suryaraju Mattimalla
17 Aug 2026
The truly confident leader does not need ridicule. He does not humiliate opponents or turn every speech into a performance about his own greatness. His strength is visible in restraint, fairness, humi
apicture Robert Clements
17 Aug 2026
Political independence was never Gandhi's final destination. He envisioned a Republic rooted in constitutional values, social justice and human dignity. Every Independence Day invites a single questio
apicture Joe Eruppakkatt
10 Aug 2026
The Arthashastra counsels engagement, accountability and informed leadership—not disappearance. A government that retreats from Parliament while students demand justice betrays not only democratic con
apicture A. J. Philip
10 Aug 2026